It’s been a strange year for most of us. Adjusting to restrictions, new routines, new offices and all the stress that comes with it. Finding this has had an effect on your sex life? You are not alone. COVID-19 has proved to be a massive turn-off for many couples, seeing their sexy time replaced with spaghetti for the 3rd time this week and arguments about who should take the bins out, again.
After the initial few weeks of spending all this extra time together, many Brits have found their sexual adventures have grown tired. Just like weekly zoom chats and making sourdough bread, it’s all become a bit of an effort to get down and dirty. So is there a way out? Here are some ways to explore to help you get out of your sexual rut.
SPENDING QUALITY TIME APART
As much as spending quality and intimate moments together is great to bring you and your partner closer, sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder. In this strange world we live in, we have found ourselves spending a LOT of time together. From the moment we wake up, in the makeshift home office, right down to the commute from office to kitchen, kitchen to living room and living room to bed. At first, getting more time together might have felt like a great disruption to the normal, but as the months move on, it is very clear that no humans were designed to spend quite this much time in one space. Even without the pandemic, it is important to draw a line between your lives. Make sure to plan time for yourself as much as you would with your partner. Exercising alone, connecting with friends, a long hot bath, video games, whatever is an escape for you that brings joy. You will find a healthy balance between your life as a couple and your life as an individual will help you feel a little more amorous, whether that’s the endorphin high from a run or just having time to decompress life’s stresses alone.
SHAKE IT UP
Humans love routine, it’s why we often start having less sex in the first place, because we get too familiar with the same old stuff every day. You can tackle this with a two-pronged approach. First, make the conscious effort to instigate quality time, foreplay, sex and everything in-between that shows you paying attention to your partner. A random Tuesday where you’d normally cook a pasta bake and be in bed by 9pm? Instead prep a fancy meal in your best lingerie and wait for the reaction. The more effort you AND your partner make to make intimate moments special, the more these will start to become second nature, and they are very much appreciated. The second approach more controversially calls for you to schedule sex. I mean exactly what I just said, open both your diaries, pencil in sex at certain times on certain days and stick to it. This might seem super mechanical, but there are a lot of people out there that claim scheduling sex has boosted many a sex life, improved intimacy and meant more sex on a Tuesday!
ACCEPT THE EBB AND FLOW
Just because this pandemic has thrown you both in the same office, does not mean you are expected to be having sex in-between virtual meetings, sex more often or sex full stop. In fact, many reports in the last year have all come to the same conclusion, the COVID-19 restrictions haver really killed our vibe in the bedroom. So, take this as a sign. You are not alone, having less sex is totally normal, and having a serious depletion in desire is also pretty typical for our current climate. In this case, it’s time to ease off the pressure and accept the sexy ebb and flows when they arise. Sometimes, you just can’t force it even with all the scheduling in the world. But when you both are in the mood, you know it’s going to be one hell of a 5 minutes.
Whilst I can’t promise your sex life will dramatically pick up and suddenly you’ll be googling if you’re having TOO much sex. I can promise you that whatever you both enjoy, as frequently as you feel up to it, is just perfect.