Generally speaking not everyone will understand you, vibe with you, or agree with you. Like the saying goes: “you can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.” It’s almost inevitable that we will clash with someone’s personality or character through all our day to day activities such as work politics or doing your weekly grocery shop.
As always, how we go about handling something and how we react is the most important thing, and the main aspect we have control over. I can’t control Susan down the street who is ridiculously rude, however I can control if I choose to engage in non-sensical chats with her that take up both her time and mine. I can’t control what someone posts on social media, however I can control muting someone’s Instagram page or story if I choose to still follow them but not view their content.
Despite being in a day and age where modernity, equality, empowerment, pro-choice, and liberation are hot topics that most agree with, there will still be plenty of people who are sitting in the 1950s believing womxn’s* place in society is in the kitchen. Here are some tips on how to navigate interactions with people who just aren’t quite on the same wavelength as you, or aren’t even willing to understand your side.
1. BE MINDFUL OF WHERE YOU PLACE YOUR ATTENTION
Importantly, remember just how easily we switch TikTok videos, we can easily switch our attention elsewhere. We have the choice to move on from the matter at hand. Granted there will be tougher situations where we can’t just “move on” from interactions that don’t serve us positively, it is important that we at least remember the power in our intuition and choice that we have. Even if there is a struggle, it’s vitally important to remember the choice we have as individuals to not stay where we aren’t valued, wanted, or attempted to be understood.
2. FIND OTHER PEOPLE
For every person / situation that negatively affects us, there will be great ones that are deeply powerful, positive, and meaningful for us. There are 7.8 billion people in the world – there will be better relationships and interactions for us. This one interaction that is negatively impactful will soon pass. It is important for us to spend our good time and energy on people that mean something to us and create a positive circle of energy, communication and exchanges with.
3. FOCUS ON GROWTH
Growth, growth, and growth. Through each bad interaction we have, remember the amount of growth you’re gaining through all of this. Your skin is most likely thickening, your communication skills are perhaps improving, your interaction with your intuition is definitely growing if you are connecting that you don’t want to be there anymore, and lastly, you learn what you can & will stand vs what you won’t tolerate. If it does get intense, or just necessary – look into therapy, mental health courses, meditation tapes, or wellbeing exercises, to really help yourself grow through tough times. As everyone is different, sometimes we indeed can’t just “move on” and there is baggage and history attached. Do what you need to do to grow positively.
4. TAKE A BREAK
In lockdown, as everyone’s home, remember emotions are heightened, and sometimes it’s good to take a break. Whilst it’s hard when everyone is at home, breathers are sometimes very beneficial. They allow people to re-evaluate what’s happening, clear their minds, lower their emotions, and just remove the intensity from the situation at hand. Instead of ramming heads with someone else, perhaps try to use this time to really introspectively reflect on yourself and “better” yourself. We may even come out of the situation feeling as though the matter at hand wasn’t as important as we thought it was and likewise it will give us a chance to review what is truly important to us. Additionally, remember that if arguments or small disputes never came to the surface, we most likely wouldn’t fully know who we’re living with or how people communicate differently.
Figure out what is the best form of communication – for you. Plenty of times I’ve found I perform / communicate better via written form, or if in a verbal argument – to take longer pauses with my answers. It gives me a moment to collect my thoughts and reply, and in actuality lower the intensity of the situation. Usually arguments rise from the fast paced state of it all, but with pausing and breathing, tense situations can simmer down by doing this.
Definitely, there will be situations where both you and someone else will just simply be two rams running at each other. However, it’s key to remember how we can slow down, evaluate the situation, check what’s the best form of communication for us to have and choose how we personally react to the situation. Whether it’s politely walking away, sending a formulated text message that is well thought out, or perhaps letting each person speak their minds – it’s always important to allow each party to voice their concern or feelings and find a way to move forward.